Safat: The KuwaitBlogs’ Aggregator

I've known you since i've understood what a friend was.
We were close...we knew each other..
We matched well ..
We didn't need anyone because we had each other.

We accomplished so much together.
People were jealous of us.
In school we were together...at home we were together...we were family.

But then you changed.
You went through something ... and i couldn't understand. It's not that i wouldn't .. i really tried.
You wouldn't let me in.
You began to look down on me.. you began to insult me ... you began to judge me. Everything about me was suddenly wrong and unusual to you.
I didn't change.

But still i stood..stood in front of you.
While you made your vicious statements
While you played those tricks on me
While you tried to ruin my life
Galaw inich ghayrana..
Galaw inch mi7tara ..
I believe them ..
Magdar askitlich anymore...you attacked the one thing that i loved the most. Dawartay sa3adtee o 7awaltay itkharbeenha 3alai..

That's sick..you're sick.
For a while i was scared ina you were reading my blog..i was scared you were going to figure out it was me..
Maybe you do know that it's me..
I'm sure you'd know this is about you if you read it.
So ... i'm surprised to see myself wishing you WOULD read this..

If you are reading this,
If you know who i am .. and who you are ..
i want you to know this:

I loved you..
I cried so much over you..
You were my bestfriend..
I never believed all this would come from you..
You hurt me...to an unforgivable point..
I don't want you around me anymore..
I don't want you talking about him .. what you did and said about him is unforgivable.. o anyone who comes between us will see hell from me and don't think i'm not capable of that.
Ra7 itshoofeen shay 3omrich ma shifteeh .. and yes consider that a threat.
I took too much crap from you. You can insult/say/do whatever you want to me...but the day you come and try to ruin things between us is the day i stop u 3ind 7adich..

kalamich has no effect on us..
kalamich mara7 ighayer shay..
you're never going to get between us..
i'm never going to listen to you..
he knows everything you tell me .. he knows what you're trying to do ..
we're stronger than that.. lil 2asaf you didn't know that..

I have something you'll never have.
Maybe i don't blame you for being jealous..
I've been in denial for a while now..but maybe it's time to let go of "us"...i think i'm more mit7asfa 3alaina than you are.

It still hurts.
I wish we could go back to how it was.
Bye.

Okay, it's the 31st of December & I don't really feel anything! Should I be feeling anything? There are 2 groups of people: those who feel it's the joyous final chapter of another year endured whilst others argue it's no more special than any other day! Personally, I want to be part of the former & bathe in the immense excitement as the clock ticks away, but usually find myself arguing for the latter in an attempt to rationalize my numb feelings :P The fact still exists that it is such a well renowned 'starting point' you can't help but think up resolutions, and then 2 minutes later wonder how many days (or hours!) you'll commit to them! Hey, as long as you're motivated enough to come up with a resolution is more than enough in my opinion, since it indicates you want to improve in at least one aspect & that's what we should all strive for :)

A fun New Year habit is the whole "see you next year!" or "I haven't seen you since last year!" game that we (I'm guessing/hoping I'm not the only one!) abuse on Dec. 31/Jan. 1 :P For example, 2 days ago after seeing Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire I confessed to a friend "I'm not coming to this damn cinema until next year!" & I enjoyed the whole Joey-esque moment where I observed each stage of isti3ab playing in slow-mo on his be-riddled face! You should try it, it's kind of fun! :) .. Obviously, one of my (many) New Year's resolutions is to be more funny! :P

I hate writing serious posts since getting a laugh or two is what this blog is all about (please tell me you noticed that!), so I will resort to stealing another stand-up line, this time from the up & coming Orny Adams:

I'm single, by choice!! .. Not my choice!

Hope your 2005 ending marks the perfect beginning to 2006 ;) I'm sorry but I won't be posting anything else this year.. (get it?!) :P Happy New Year! :)

.. & now for those who speak Yoda,

31st of December it is, but feel something I do not! Be feeling anything should I be? 2 groups of people there are: happy endings some may think, same as any day others argue. Be part of the former I want, but find myself in the latter I do! Think up silly resolutions you shall, but commit to them can you?! Enough is the motivation to change, to become better people we should all strive!

New Year joke there is. Explain it in Yoda I cannot! New Harry Potter movie, I did see. Like it very much I did. But better it could be..

Single I am by choice! .. Not my choice, that is!!

Happy may your New Year be ;) May the force be with 2006! :P

Saw 1 & 2: I saw Saw (I just love saying that!) & it was saw-eeeeet!! & Saw 2 is the last worthy sequel since Godfather II & that's saying alot! :)

How do you let go of something you have wanted for so long that you’ve lived it, breathed it, and desired it for years that it has became part of every waking minute of your daily life. And you know without a doubt that you will never get this something but you also know that if you do let go you will never be the same person again and a certain part of you will die. How do you let go of the

Last night pinky came home and posted EVERYTHING that had happened to her...some of you read it some of you didn't. But then pinky realized something...she was exposing her deepest most darkest secrets ..what if someone found out who she was?
She said things that should never have been said.

The reason pinky started this blog was to have someone to talk to...just like the post she deleted..some things mayingaloon to friends or cousins..becuz lets face it..word gets out. So she started talking to this post. But the more she starts to open up the more she gets scared that someday someone somehow will find out who she is.

Some people who know me VERY well have been reading my posts..they've been telling me about them. And now i'm scared. Last night i even considered DELETING my entire blog.
But i've gotten too attached to it..and too attached to you guys.

Now pinky's just confused.

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House" in French, is feminine-"la maison." "Pencil" in French, is masculine-"le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine of a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computer"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for
possible later retrieval;
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('le computer") because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2.They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3.They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.

This is a forward i got i thought i would share with you guys because i have nothing to write about ..........
And because charisma wants me to write something so i did :P

Pinky is going to do something very very very naughty.

Pinky cannot tell you what she's about to do.

Pinky is scared and nervous about what she is going to do. It's the first time she does it.

Pinky's been waiting a long time to do this.

Pinky's scared she'll get caught.

Pinky can't sleep because she's doing it at sunrise...which is only hours (less even) away! She also can't sleep because she needs time to get ready. And she's too nervous to sleep.

Pinky's scared that ili ib balha may9eer.

Pinky's excited.

Is Pinky going to get caught? She really really REALLY really REALLY really REALLY hopes she doesn't.

What do you think Pinky's about to do?

thanks Sty very much ;) ..... :p

Happy New Year
If it didn't bring you joy just leave it behind..Let's ring in the new year with good things in mind..Let every bad memory that brought heart ache and pain.. And let's turn a new leaf with the smell of new rain.. Let's forget past mistakes making amends for this year.. Sending you these greetings to bring you hope and cheer *^_^*

I just had the weirdest phone call...
I go into my room to find 7 missed calls on my mobile....might i add from a number i did not know. Calling the number a girl answers to my relief..kilish mali khilg suwalif "momkin inta3araf".

me: aloo?
girl: Hi pinky..its me flana (wa7da ma a3arif'ha 3adil .. kwaitiya bes mati3tirif ib hal shay 3abalha amreekiya :P)
me: oh hala wala..
girl: so umm listen .. if i gave you a number would you be able to get me a name and address?
me: laish galoolich ashtighel ib mtc wila il wa6aniya?
girl: so you cant?
me: no...sorry...
girl: inzain 3ayal i need to find out who a number belongs to..shasawee..
me: madree wala .. sorry...laish shisalfa
girl: la mako shay serious it's just my boyfriend got involved in a drug ring and some guy ran off with his money. And the only evidence we have of this guy is a telephone number..
me: oh..i thought it was something serious (kilish mo sarcastic)
girl: so you can't help ha? *sigh*
me: la wala .. sorry..but um goodluck with that.. and uhh tell your boyfriend to be more careful next time..
girl: inshallah i will..thanks babe

ishraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaykom ? :P

aaakhhhh wain abtidy with this topic?
Awal shay this post was inspired by Dalalism fa thank you :P
I'm sorry if people think that what i have to say is incorrect, this is just my opinion ya nas ...

There are two types of people in kuwait; those who believe in love BEFORE marriage and those who believe in love AFTER marriage.

Personally i believe that love comes before marriage.
Let me explain why.

Scenario: Wa7da khi6abha wa7ed..no relationship bainhom..they get to know each other for lets say 3 months. Tawhom mit3arfeen 3ala ba3ath..no one is being themself 3adil? Some people say you can get an idea of what the person is like...no ya nas you cant! mosta7eel...
Now lets say you've been presented with the man you're going to marry...you know inich you're going to marry him...o fee this one little flaw that bothers you..but you subconciously tell yourself "batzawija...im going to be with him for the rest of my life i might as well get used to it..." this is different from getting to know a person with no strings attached and then seeing that flaw and accepting it min nafsich...

I'm also a firm believer that you can fall in love with ANYONE ...which contradicts what i just said ... lol complications ... why am i writing about this? kila minich dalalism :p

on to other topics...

- I'm finally going to watch harry potter ilyowm..HUGE fan hehehe..
- 7adi excited...
- mishtahya i write a love story.. o mishtahya i kill someone off at the end :P lol who would you prefer to die .. the guy wila the girl? (and to people who think im disturbed by this...it ain't good if it don't make you cry!) lol ams lama kitabt my last post bichait lain gilt bes...shakli bakamilha ilaila :P

It wasn't very late into the night but the city was pitch black. The wind outside howled, blowing everything into chaos. The wind was in a panic, and so was she. She put on her t-shirt silently, then her jeans, her sweater, her scarf, and finally her boots. She got into the car, the few seconds that that took her almost froze her to death.
"It's going to be so cold..." she thought to herself rubbing her palms together before starting the car. "Bes maykhalif..."She started the car and pulled out of their drive-way. She had a feeling in her stomach.
She was nervous, but she was never nervous about seeing him.
She felt panic.

She got to their place. His car was parked their already. "Ghareeba.." she thought to herself..she had forgotten to call him on the way. Her mind was too busy. Getting out of the car she walked over to him. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. She felt herself being pushed up a nearby wall. Within seconds the kiss was over.
"Hi.." she whispered.
"Hala.." Silence...

"tagha6aay" he whispers pulling whats left of her sweater closed."mitgha6yaa" she whines opening it back again."bard moot...bitmoteen..you're shivering" he whispers pulling her near and running his hands up and down her back and shoulders.
He was trying to keep her warm.
But she wasn't warm.
She was cold...too cold.

She had so much to say, but she couldn't. She had told herself over and over for the past couple of months not to do this. She wasn't going to do this...she wasn't...but she couldn't she had to.
"7abeeby.." she whispered, the first tear finally falling. She had held it in much longer than she had expected. She clutched his sweater with both fists. He put his hands on top of them and looked at her.
"3youni..." he whispers kissing her head..
"...latroo7.." she chokes her fists closing tighter on him.
"7ayati we talked about this...four years...wala mo wayed..3omri 7abeebti hideeni...latsaween feeni chithee..ishfeech maskatni chithee.."
"mabee ahidik.."
"ba3ad 3omri" he unclasps her hands from his sweater and kisses them. She didn't care what he was doing, she just wanted to cling to him.
"flan im scared...wala im so scared" and by now all shreds of self-control were gone. The tears fell down her face and his sweater.
The cold wind stinged her as it blew cruelly into her face.
The wind hurt.

Tiny drops of rain began to fall.."okay 7abeebti now we HAVE to go...you're going to get wet...please 7abeebti 3ashani" he begins but his tone starts to change as he sees her eyes spread wide with panic.
"la2 la2 please la2..please galby..tokfa la2.." she begins crying silently this time letting go of him. She was giving up. This time was going to come and she knew it.
He looked at her.
She was scaring him.
He expected her to cry, but her reaction surprised him. She was in panic. He'd never seen her this scared.

"Laish khiyfa flana?" he asked her. She wouldn't look at him, she wouldn't touch him. She had stopped clinging to him.

"you're going away ya 7abeebi...shwaya law itgool 3ani khiyfa. I'm not scared...i'm beyond that. Enta makhith aghla ma 3indi o you're taking it away from me wana madree ishbi9eer feeh, wana mara7 agdar adeer bali 3alaih..what if it needs me? ra7 yi7tajni...what if something happens? I have to make it okay...wana magdar asawee chithee when i'm here. you're taking it away from me..."

He gets into his car.
And then on that plane.
He was going to go.
And with him he's taking aghla ma 3indi.
And he asks me why i'm scared...

it pains me to see how the world that we live in has no insight to what truly good music is...some would have you believe that the billboard top 20 is the way to go, fair enough, but its full of stanking shitty music i wouldnt wipe my ass with...anyway image is everything in todays music world, which explains why the brittneys and x-tina's havent all been rounded up and shot! dont get me wrong its not like i hate them...well yes i do, them and the record companies who manufacture such putrid bile, wrap it in cling-film and market it to impressionable youths. what gets me the most is this whole infatuation with hip-hop, now i am black for lack of a more politically correct word, but i dont identify with the image portrayed by any of the current 'stars' of the genre 'bling-bling, bitches and bentleys' thats pretty much all theyre about, and oh, they throw a little drum roll in there, call it a beat and Mtv is getting off on playing the songs on 24hour rotation. ok, so ive said all that but to what purpose, well there is good music out there, great music and when i do rule the earth i will demand everyone listen to jeff buckley at least once a day...just to see how music can portray beauty...there is something so ethereal (?) about his voice, combined with the lyrics, i can only compare it to strawberry cheesecake (something i could never turn down), ok maybe that isnt such a good analogy but my point is that listening to his music puts a peace in your soul that is not of this earth...listen to dream brother and you will know what i mean...some of you will see this, ignore it and die horrible deaths...others will take heed and enjoy life...choose life.

:P

Me and a couple of my friends have been visiting the elderly eb dar el musineeen for the past week and it really hurts to see what we saw....
These people are people who don't have a family or do have a family but a family that doesn't care about them and had the heart to put them in an elderly home........
Today at the beginning of my visit i sat with a lady and we started to talk she asked if i had a phone and i know that i shouldn't give her a phone so i told her that i forgot it at home but i asked why she wanted it. She told me that she wants to call her sister to come pick her up........I was about to cry.... I was speechless.....I had no idea what to say..... I replied by telling her that i will make sure that the person responsilble for them in the elderly home will call her.....
It breaks my heart seeing people who have a family living in a place with no family around...
Do they really think thats the best solution?
There are many ways a person can help the elderly in their family and it shouldn't result to this.....
People send their parents, their uncles, their aunts or any person in their family to the elderly home because they aren't able to take care of them!!! THAT ISN'T TRUE!!!!!
On our first visit we spoke with the head of the elderly house and he told us that they have nurses that they will send to houses to help out with the elderly, but still the people with no heart will do everything in their effort to put an elder member in their family in a home and won't bother to visit them even once!!! they put them there and forget about them!!!!
Our parents, aunts, and uncles are the people who took care of us when we are young and we owe it to them that we take care of them....not just because they did the same for us but because we love them and shouldn't ever think of putting them in as house we are not in.....

When we sat with the elderly today and started to talk.........they were very shy but after about 10 minutes they started to talk to us and one of the women started to tell us poetry....
We could see their smiles and how happy they are that someone is here to visit them and actually sit down and talk to them for a while............
They are amazing and i will make sure that i visit them frequently because the happiness in their eyes when they have visitors really makes my day!

- From your experience what do you think a guy can do/say that proves he is serious about a relationship (don't tell me he tells ahala)

- What's the most romantic thing a guy's ever done for you?

- What's the most unusual thing a guy's ever done for you?

Sorry i've been posting all the time, but Mr. Tea hasn't been cyber active coz he's sick..again
:( 7araam his fever is high and he has a runny nose, so it's snotville all over again here. Salamaat 7uby oo inshalla u get better soon :****

Bathrooms...

Walla this isn't a disgusting post...i promise. I thought i might give u a break from asking u guys direct questions, but i really do want ur opinions on this issue.

Ever since we got married...well actually since our engagement, we decided on having separate bathrooms. Nothing hygenic walla...bil3aks, we're extremely clean people. It's simply a matter of privacy. He can have his macho bathroom and all his manly stuff in it. And i can have my feminine bathroom and all my girly stuff in it. So in our apartment, we have separate bathrooms and we're both extremely happy, and of course decided to do that in our future house.

Anyway, we were working on the design last week, and thought it would be nice to give his parents and my mom a look. We took the blue prints and my mom happened to be the first person to see them. Being the person she is...her comment was... " eeee zain tsawwooon!! laish ma tsawoonlokom separate bedrooms??!!". She believes that whoever came up with the idea of a couple sharing the same bed and bathroom is a complete idiot. Next were Mr. Tea's parents. They're absolute sweethearts, so they said " ba3ad hatha baitkom sawaw illy yraye7kom!". ya7lailhom!

The problem was when our friends saw the blue prints. They're another couple who think that our separate bathroom rule is stupid and meaningless. " You are marrried!! u have to share everything....EVERYTHING!!" Yeah right!! We already share the same bed!! The least we can do is get separate bathrooms!!

I haven't met anyone besides Mr. Tea and my family who truly believe that a married couple doesn't neccesarily have to share a bathroom!! Walla we have the same hygene rituals...but come on...same bathroom!! qaweyaaa!

PS: dots i tried to upload my desktop but it just won't! Sorry...but i promise i'll keep trying.

Why ...

- Do i get angry (yes...i through a FIT) i feel rage...i throw things ...i see RED .. everytime he tells me he wants to sleep?

- Do i get the urge to az3al and ignore him and make a big deal .. out of nothing .. every 3 or so days.. even when i have nothing to be angry/upset about?

- is he always right?

- is he always calm and doesn't let me have my "fits"? And when he isn't calm he is "wakaling me khara" so much that i can't have my "fit" 3ala ra7ty?

- is there nothing to fight about? A girl HAS GOT TO throw a fit. may9eer bint ma tiz3al!

- doesn't my phone have credit?

- can't i sleep? Ever? (wala jad ma anam ila 5-6 hours a day...im up by 7..)

- is life so boring that nothing, not my education, not my friends, not even my bf entertain me/keep me occupied? (ya nas plz don't tell me to get a hobby..)

*** This happens to me a lot apparently because just when i decided that tomorrow i was going to go find somewhere to be alone and just not talk to anyone the whole day i remembered this poem that i wrote about a year ago about nafs il shay..la7tha lemme go find it!

---(untitled)---
Yes I know I’ve got that dazed look in my eye
I know I’m speaking in phrases that don’t make sense
I’m aware of how much I grumble and sigh
And I realize I’ve been high-strung and tense

So maybe its time for one of my journeys
Just climb out and walk away
Please I’ll ask you to not try to stop me
Don’t hold me down and beg me to stay

Maybe there’s a reason behind this, and maybe not
Please don’t try to get me to explain
Maybe this is your fault, and then again maybe it’s really not,
But this journey’s the only way I’ll stay sane

Feeni frustration madry min shino :/ there's nothing bothering me or on my mind...maybe thats it?
aaakhhhh...

Is it ok for people to stick their numbers on your car window?..After all, it is passive, because they're not forcing themselves upon you like those other freaks in the streets who try to anal hump your car or crash into you just to make some sort of "contact" even if its you giving them the finger! But anyway I digress, do you think its acceptable for people to get to know each other like that...I mean culturally i guess its a no, but I think with the way things are going in this society, this is one of the more decent ways to chat up a girl or something...and its not as intrusive...I still wouldnt be crazy about it, and also another point is that how does a person know who the hell that person whos number's stuck to their car, is? I guess sometimes it happens after you've seen a person somewhere then parked afterwards, or they've made some comment in their note about who they are or where you might have seen them. What I want to know though is for the girls do you mind if its done to you and would you ever consider calling the person? And for the guys, would you do it if you saw a girl you liked and wanted to get to know her?

Well i know its been EONS since i wrote but so much has happened that I simply couldnt bear the excitement...Ok i'm kinda exaggerating i could totally bear the excitement...but a lot has happened!

ANYway..first things first i quit my job! and I feel so happy and relieved and soon enough ill be completely broke and my "I am free" high will totally wear off and ill be bumming off anything and anyone...But till then YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Secondly the mama had a talk with me about dragging fags...AKA smoking (ok dragging fags sounds nasty but i was tryin to be creative) and it felt so good to finally have a talk with her about it after all these years...its out in the open now...i still havent decided if its a completely good thing or bad thing...

Anyway a lot more has happened but I realised that there is no need to share *blush* and a lady can have her secrets...and if you ask 'what lady' ill smack you...

Now that I have quit, I have no idea what to do with my life...So this post
can be a way for me to collect ideas as to what my new career should be! Many of you might laugh but I severiously dont know what I want to do...im up for anything crazy....but preferably something i dont have to study 4 years or longer for!!

First of alll Merry Xmas 2 all

i have this thng with plastic surgery i just don't believe in it
do people actually think that they actually look better when they have plastic surgery!!!
to me all a person is doing is making themselves look like clown (no offense to those who had plastic surgeries)
i am a muslim and i know for a fact that plastic surgery is forbidden (7aram!!!!)
in islam the a person can have plastic surgery only when something is broken (ex. nose) and if they had an operation and the scar is really awful and cannot be seen because it disgusts people..
God gave you this body and gave you this looks why do you want to change it?
God gave you everything you need and everything you want why do you want to change the looks he gave you?

Its the inner beauty that counts...........
not everyone judges a book by their cover, but the people that do are really shallow.....
its whats inside that counts.......
a person can be really awful looking from the outside but its there heart that gets to you, thier kindness, thier personality.........

Think about it this way, if you had to choices:
1. a guy/girl who looks amazing but has a bad personality and is not self confident
2. a guy/girl who isn't that good looking but has a great personality and is very self confident and is kinder than ever?
Who will you choose looks or personality?

ya jan6a .. your last comment has inspired me to write this post and so i'm dedicating it to you. First of all i want to say thank you WAYED lanich ga3da it7ateeni..having a younger sister my age probably caused that. And before i go on with this post and what i have to say im going to answer your question 3ashan i dont forget. La2 .. rab3a mayadroon. No one knows (except his mother and brother).

She is 17.
There is NOTHING she can do about it.
About the physical thing...she knows guys want more.
But he doesnt.
He's never asked for it.
He doesn't want ANYTHING.
I'll admit ina she offered to give him something...but he refused it.
Gal mayabee shay minha...only for her to be his and only his and for her to be with him.
He wants her to respect him.
He wants her to be protective and shower him with love and affection.
He wants her to be herself around him so that he can be himself around her.
He wants her to be his best friend.

He doesn't want to meet her anywhere.
He doesn't want to sneak around and lie.

College is a time for people to take different paths and to explore themselves.
But marada these paths come to an end and everyone goes back home.
It's a journey we go through...people grow apart, people get closer.
You never know what happens.

And so...especially when it comes to these things...everyone is different.
They're not like "flan" o "flana" ili kanaw ma3a ba3ath 7ag 5 years chan yinfa9lon.
They're not "hatha" o "hatheek" ili kanaw ikalmoon ba3ath...
They're "shag7a" o "shaheen" ...and they want a chance to try to make it work.
They're not saying ina failure isnt a possibility. It is. Nothing is for sure.

And the advice given from people about being careful...they will try to be. Whether you're careful or not...you will get hurt. Life's like that. Eventually you're going to have to expose yourself to that risk. You love...you get hurt...it doesn't work out...anything can happen.

And so once upon a time dear readers..."shag7a" and "shaheen" met up at the beginning of that long twisting road that looked endless...and they held hands and said "let's see how far we can go..."

Since we are about to enter a new year & my birthday is coming in march so im posting my wishlist maybe someone will buy one as aB.Day present ..:p 1-The ipod Nano what a damn device i love it . Price: $290 for 4G Capacity . 2-The sony 23 inch BRAVIA S series LCD TV Price Not Listed . 3-The sony HD Handy Cam Price: $1.920 4-The NEW DellTM XPS M170 Price: $2.299 5-The AV500 Archos

The few days ago i was watching Oprah and she was talking about people who have BDD (Body Dismorphic Disease). They actually broke my heart.

There was this one wierd lady her name is Jenny (i think) and she is 28 years old and has had 20 plastic surgeries. I don't think at the age of 28 she would have something so wrong in her body that she actually needs a plastic surgery.


Just look at her she actually looks like a peice of plastic.
She was on Oprah for the second time and now she's thinking of having a body lift and a nose job so her nose would look more like Micheal Jackson's nose. When she went to her plastic surgeon, he told her if she has another nose job she will not have a nose!!!! UNBELIVABLE!!!

There is this other dude who was also on Oprah and he admires Jenny. I don't remember his name but he is in highschool. He hates the way he looks and always covers up with make up. For him to get ready for school everyday he has to wake up at 3 a.m. so he is able to leave the house at 8 a.m. When he came on Oprah, i took a look at his face and there was nothing wrong with it. It showed that it was covered up with makeup but i think that without all the foundation on his face he would look really handsome. I personally didn't find anything wrong with the way he looked

Other than Jenny and this dude, there was another women on Oprah who thinks that she needs plastic surgery because she is really ugly!!!! Before she came on the show they showed her walking down a street but they didn't reveal her face so i thought when this lady comes on Oprah she's gonna scare the hell out of me from her ugliness but she didn't. She was very beautiful. She had a very pretty face and an acceptable body. She talked about how when she leaves the house she thinks that every body is staring at her because she is so ugly and that she hates looking at herself in the mirror because she gets freaked out from how ugly she is.

I think Jenny is a freak for trying to make herself look like Micheal Jackson. The dude and other lady are really sick and need psychiatric help.

What i'm trying to find out is does BDD have any genetic relation or is it something that people get influenced by from society?

Marina....BORING!!!
Fanar.....BORING!!!
Soug Sharg....BORING!!!
Home....BORING!!!
Chalet...BORING!!!
Kout....BORING!!!
What's there to do around here!! I have so many projects i have to do but a person need a break so what's there to do???? NOTHING!!!
Every movie i've seen
7ifathna el menu's malot elma6a3im
7ifathna kel share3 bel q8....7ata il malek fahad 7ifathna!!!
A person has to find something to do liana sitting around is not an option for me!!!
i don't believe that i have the guts to take a break from all the work i have...and when i do i notice that there is nothing to do and no where to go
HELP!!!!!!!!!
in the last post i talked about the pressure of work and all the tension that finals are on the way... and know i noticed that it may be a good thing to have something to do because there is nothing........i mean NOTHING! to do around here!!

hey I've been very busy in the last few dayz with work it a very stressful 6 dayz most service that my company was down new regulations were implemented which made lost & the customers as well, so today I felt like to write this to let it of my mind, & the story is : I've known this person from almost five years back we became ia very very close friends we were in touch on a daily bases

Today we officially started our vacation.........but no one from the people i know consider this christmas break a vacation. We have to study, do work, powerpoint presentations and many other things that don't involve relaxing.
Is this what a vaation is supposed to be like?
Being under pressure for a whole semester is more than enough.
a person looses their social life and the sense of hapinness when they have their head dug in a book 24 hours a day.
A typical vacation involves alot of sleep, spas and many other recreational activities that don't involve a book.....THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!
many other people i know are not going to relax this vacation because of the pressure of exams and projects due after the break.
What about sleep?
A person won't be able to get enough sleep!!! there will always be something hanging that they know they have to get up and do WHY? because no teachers ever thought that a vacation is a time to relax! They relax, they travel but we are left rotting in our place try to finish the endless projects that are expected to be done by the time we return.

Another issue on vacation is that they have the schedules so messed up it isn't even funny!
I was talking to a friend a few hours ao and he told me "Gooleeli Mabrook!" and i'm like why!? and he says "5ala9t examz!!" is that fair?
We are under an american system and should follow american rules! but NO!!! They choose to follow the government vacations!!
What kills me is that now i know that i will be stuck at home doing God knows what project while my pals are out having the time of their life!
Do u think that is fair?

I'm really enjoying asking u questions, so here's another one!
They say chocolate says a lot about a person, soooo.....

Life is wierd
People think they are so perfect it makes me laugh
so what if i don't put on makeup and do my hair
so what if i don't wear tight clothes
does that make me any different?
I am the exact same person they are but without all the trouble of making myself so perfect, but i don't actually care. Some times i think people are watching me and laughing because they think i am different but i don't care.
it does bother me sometimes but i try to ignore it and not show it
but in the inside it kills me
To me people who look at you from the outside and thats what they judge are people who are superficial and low
No one has the right to judge a person before knowing them..........when they get to know them thats when they should judge!

this overly pretentious title has nothing to do with anything, but pretence is inherent in every aspect of human life, no one is really who they are, on some level we all act like who we arent to satisfy peoples expectations of who we should be. that said i am whoever you think i am, but i am also who i know i am and none of this makes sense. anyway vain attempts at philosophy aside, though they will resurface later in this piece, i was told that my last couple of blogs, being very much close to absolute truth on the subject matter, had a tendancy to be depressing...so i looked back on everything that i have ever written and realize that i havent written one piece that is neither sad nor angry...so it would seem that i have a lot of stuff bottled up that refuses to come out. but thanks to 6 weeks of psychiatry in college i realise that these things i write are a way of sublimating...that is taking deep seated desires and doing something constructive with them, or as close to being constructive as i could get them to be. so i write and people feel depressed, or wonder why i cant write about bunnies, rainbows and pink fluffy clouds...well bunnies die, rainbows fade and who wants a fucking pink cloud? its just the sad truth that if i did write something that was happy and cheerful, or at the most not about any emotion at all, then i wouldnt be happy. i mean i dont like writing about failed love and all that, but its just so easy, i tried writing something happy once, think it went something like 'the blue sky above and the majesty of its vastness is all i need to know that though this world is finite...' see? its already turning to hash and im only 2 sentences into it..in all fairness i just made that shit up, but i just couldnt keep that pleasant strain going. i thought hard about why i prefer to write stuff like i do, and i figured that on some level, i like to see just how miserable i think i am, though in actually one might say im happy go lucky...though not with those exact words. the problem might be that i over-analyze things. the problem is that i over-analyze things. ive listened to myself think, in theory, and all i hear is what seems to be white noise...because there is so much going on that i cant filter out the irrelevant stuff...'the blue sky above and the majesty of its vastness is all i need to know that though everything seems small on this earth, there is a greater power that is watching over us, and that is the most reassuring thought anyone could possibly wish for' so i've decided to write something that has nothing to do with anything...
islands off in the distance,
sun setting behind
towers made of clouds blanketing the sky,
the red glow that pours through, the burning red
of an ever glowing flame,
lit by the hand of God,
one can only watch as this parade of red, and white
slowly fades into night, and within the darkness that ensues
the warmth of that flame is reassuring.
though no longer visible,the ever burning red is there,
this much like faith is all that is needed.
so my eyes are closed now,
im looking into the distance,
spacing out, listeneing to my thoughts again,
but there is nothing this time, just a calm reassuring silence.
happiness within reach.

see through the eyes of the lowliest earthly being
moving so slowly, going backwards, never leaving
hovering about, the excrement is my home...lord of the flies
but still on the fumes i choke
pestilence is what defines this existence, breathe in plague
immune and resistant, to feed off your blood, feed on nutrition
my seeking vitamination results in your condition
i am the lord of the flies, as i crawl through your skin
you scream 'insects are killing me', i see where truth lies
determine who dies, still youre screaming '..these insects..'
in time you'll cocoon, evolve, become queen, mistress here i am use me
as i plant my seed, as you feed off my body,
know your children will kill, and these insects will live on.

you weren't yourself..literally, and had the chance to be ANYONE else, it can be a political or historical figure, family member, friend, and actor/ess, singer, etc...ficitonal characters from books or movies are also ok, dead people, cartoon characters, anyone u want

Well im posting in morinings in the past tow dayz cuz my working shift is morning now ... so working in morning shifts has some advantage's & some disadvanteg's ... the advanteg's are : * you can reestablish you social life by visiting your firends after working hours. * start feeling like a normal humanbeing. & The one & only Disadvanteg is WAKEING UP IN THE EARLY MORNING ....

this is how do the streets look like today morning @ 7:45 am while i was heading to work in the 2nd ring road ( el7ob )

i spent my last tow dayzz( which was off from work ) playin on my psp,gizzin,dining out with friends,& checking out my fried car new look (a pretty big black H2) :p

Since I really like 3baid's idea, I'm gonna tag Pussa, Feras, Design & Nonawz :D Update: Last but not least, Daloooollaayyy *taan taraaaan*

I got this e-mail and i haaaaad to post it!

Ok read the english meanings and then OUTLOUD say the
chinese words...

(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)

1) Thats not right...
Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive...
Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man...
Dum Fuk

5) Small horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped in to a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here...
Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King

12) staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo

13) He's cleaning his automobile...
Wa Shing Ka

14) Your body odor is offensive...
Yu Stin Ki Pu

15)Great...
Fa Kin Su Pah

Thought of the day#1:
Did you notice that when you are at a red light and the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination?
I do that no matter how much I try NOT to! So annoying! lol

Thought of the day#2:
Isn't it scary that you can get food delivered to your house much faster than an ambulance can get there!? That's messed up, we really should sort out our priorities! ;P

Aight Josh Dowden is definately a big sexy stud. I can't believe he is moving!!! It is gonna be really sad. EVERYONE will miss him!!!! Josh if you ever read this just know your a pretty awesome dude and I luv ya!!!! Have fun and Georgia and don't forget bout us up here!!! I'm happy you get to go back to your old friends and everything but just don't forget you have friends here too!! You will have to give me your address and your phone number!!!

~*LUVS*~

i read '' Judy Abbott ''post about how filthy kuwait have become i passed by hawally the other day i wanted to buy some cd-r's & due to the hevy traffic that is hawally famuse for its ZAAAAAAAAAAA77777MMMMMA , so i said to my self why don't i take a shortcut , so i did & i found my self in أوسخ area in kuwait i think the zbala was thrown across the street & wayed flyzzz w re7a i almost throw up

Today should be written in history in @ work now the system is shut down now & we r free to do what ever what we desire to do no calls are coming no complaining customers no cursing no shouting just having a blast ........ woooooooooooow this is my best day ever @ work ....

Back in that dayz i wrote waht i was feeling about you 'n' you read it 'n' you realize that i defined my relationship wit you but you turned me down 'n' missunderstood me ... but you know i'll always tell you that... I LOVE YOU , I RESPECT YOU, I Won't FORGET YOU you know why cuz you understand me more than no body els .. even thou you dont talk to me anymore but iknow that you still like me as

Quick heads up for the ladies out here...
A new clothing line min 6agat Juicy, Von Dutch etc. Called Cupcake is on the show at Bait Lothan. The unveiling opened today and will go on till the 12th or 13th I think.

It's designed by 2 Kuwaiti Girls. I've heard its really good by some family members, haven't seen it myself though..So Girls show your support and what better to do than shop till you drop to take away the stress thats caused by exams :P (Right? isn't shopping a sort of therapeutic action girls do? :P)

eLearning vs knowledge mgmt Author Verna Allee Published Tue, Sep 27 2005 At those big training conferences, I love wandering the exhibition halls. Most of the old-line stand-up training companies have either disappeared or languish in lonely obscurity in dark corners, relegated to some undesirable low budget spot uncomfortably near the trash bins. Hogging the choice spots these days are the big glitzy elearning booths with multi-media showstoppers, swarms of fresh-faced sales people, and dazzling lists of offerings and features. Not the least of their attractions are innovative giveaways such as boldly emblazoned psychedelic gel markers and chocolate in myriad forms. Im not merely trying to learn all the latest gizmos, buttons and whistles. What I most enjoy is actually talking to the people who eagerly staff the eLearning booths and tallying up the dizzying number of misconceptions, conceptual leaps and outright hoodwinks they innocently bandy about. I especially relish chancing upon the elearning booth that suggests they have the ultimate knowledge management solution. Hmm, really? Upon closer investigation, I rarely find anyone at the booth who even can define what they mean by knowledge management. At the huge Training 2000 exhibit, I found only two people who had read a book on knowledge management. No one had read anything on intellectual capital (only the most powerful new thinking about business strategy and learning of the last fifty years) or, they would blithely reassure me that developing elearning courseware allows a company to manage "all" its knowledge. I dont think so. Most elearning companies really offer training management, not knowledge management. There is a very big difference. eLearning could be a cornerstone of knowledge management but most elearning companies have failed to master the basic theory and practice of knowledge management. They not only cannot intelligently speak about knowledge management practice from a marketing perspective, they dont even have a coherent internal understanding of knowledge management or a serious knowledge management strategy of their own. Nor can they speak the language of business results other than in terms of ROI (return on investment), completely missing the huge strategic impact of intangibles and intellectual capital measures. A couple of months ago, as I wandered that exhibit hall, talking with people from literally every major elearning company, I found the prevailing language of elearning was focused around "build and distribute." How is that different from the classic industrial age production line model of design, build, and deliver based on old assumptions about expertise and learning? How could elearning companies expand their offerings to offer real knowledge management solutions? How would this classic training model have to change if we really incorporate knowledge management principles? What does it mean for the kinds of features and services elearning companies will need to offer or partner with? Lets see. 1. Its not just about ROI, its more about building intellectual capital. Knowledge and learning is a much bigger business story than return on investment can capture. Traditional ROI concerns efficiency and cost reduction - the classic industrial age way of telling the business story. The newer and more powerful way of telling the story about knowledge and learning is to focus on intellectual capital and build the capacity for the future. Intellectual capital is not jargon or a buzzword. There is a whole body of very serious thought and practice essential for anyone who wants to make a strategic case for investment in learning. What this means for elearning? Marketing teams and consultants need to master this new language of knowledge management and intangibles. Check out the recommended books and resources list on my website or browse the articles there. Want a really rich learning site? Go to Karl-Erik Sveibys website. Karl-Erik is a founding father of both knowledge management and intellectual capital. 2. Its about learning communities as well as individual learners. Knowledge is a social phenomenon. We learn through experience, application, and conversation in community with our peers. We are on the verge of an explosion of interest in communities of practice and knowledge networks. Read Etienne Wengers book on Communities of Practice, or he and Bill Snyders article "Learning in Communities" in the last issue of LiNE Zine, or John Seely Brown and Paul Duguids The Social Life of Information. Chief Knowledge Officers and Chief Learning Officers are putting more and more focus on building learning communities. This learning frontier is one that few elearning companies are addressing intelligently. (Please note: a community is not a portal or software.) What this means for elearning? Build in the capacity to profile whole communities of people. Companies need ways to make the experts more visible to each other and to the entire organization. Some elearning companies are getting the picture very quickly. Docent, for example, has a built-in model for developing skill profiles and links to human resource information systems databases, such as PeopleSoft. Look for more features that will help people pull up a variety of demographic profiles like "weather maps" that show the distribution of skills across entire communities and populations or even communication linkages. 3. Experts are everywhere. The prevailing assumption built into most elearning models is, "We know what is best. We will tell you." The usual design process includes identifying the subject matter expert or experts as partners in the design effort. Seems to make sense if that were really how knowledge happens. There are two challenges here. First, only the most routine of processes and procedures really lend themselves to training and job aids, including elearning. The non-routine or more expert levels simply cannot be captured in readily taught formulas. More advanced levels of knowledge and skills are learned in tacit ways, by actually hanging out with the experts. Second, any expert will tell you that people usually dont follow a process or formula or steps. They want to tweak it or put their own spin on it. People, however, will support what they help create. So the real "experts" are the entire community that needs the knowledge, creates it, identifies what is most valuable and continually renews, validates and revamps it. Burck Smith, reporting in the May/June 2000 issue of e-learning magazine reminds us that "when distributed learning or technology replaces a highly formative or socializing environment distributed learning and technology perform poorly." What this means for elearning? Ultimately this means putting the means of production of knowledge (and the elearning modules that spin out of that) in the hands of those who need it - the communities of practice and expertise within the company and the extended enterprise. This requires a radical rethinking of how courses (web or otherwise) are really created. Just as most elearning is focused on the individual learner, most design work currently focuses on an individual expert. Upfront work with the learning community is far more important than most elearning companies realize. eLearning service providers can contribute more consulting support to really identify the community of users and the community of experts. Then they can build in ways to work with that community through the life of the elearning module to assure that it is relevant and continually updated. 4. Quality learning requires quality knowledge objects. Fully appreciating and utilizing the community of experts and users is the surest path to high quality knowledge objects. A knowledge object is any document, schematic, drawing, tool, software, job aid, or guide that helps people do their work. Too frequently training courses use obsolete materials or irrelevant examples. The best of elearning is built around or linked in directly to the actual knowledge repositories that are continually renewed and updated by the learning community. What this means for elearning? Peer3, a recent spinoff from TSC is expanding their offerings beyond elearning to include people-to-people profiling, people-to-knowledge capability as well as people-to-learning modules. They are creating ways for real communities of practice and user groups to create real-time knowledge objects that can be rolled into elearning modules. For example, instead of a diagram being dropped into an elearning module, the module may link directly to a repository or website that is a real-time resource for a community of workers. For elearning providers to really support knowledge management, they would expand their focus to learning communities and link to the real-time knowledge object repositories that people use in their daily work. A more complete knowledge focus would mean having the capacity to: * Connect people to people in ways that build learning communities * Support learning communities in creating knowledge objects * Connect to those knowledge objects in elearning modules * Create expertise and learning profiles of the community... How many of these steps in creating, socializing, and applying knowledge do you really support? Do your product and service offerings cover the whole spectrum? Then you can indeed claim to be well on your way to helping companies leverage their knowledge assets. Verna Allee is an internationally recognized thought leader in knowledge, intangibles, and new business models.

hey im back i know that my blog is not that well known to you all but as i said before in my first post this blog is blow out my feeling towreds others so this post is to notify you ( who log's on to this blog ) IM BACK on track .... :)

Everything builds up inside. It starts to overwhelm your body. You feel like your going to suffocate yourself and you don't know what to do. Speak out! I know sometimes it's hard believe me but sometimes you just need to talk to someone about your problems. I have a lot of things on my mind and sometimes I don't wanna talk about them but I know if I do it could get better. If you can't tell anyone, cry. That's what I do. Some say "crying is for the weak". Forget that crap. Crying is a way to express yourself. You don't have to cry in front of everyone but hey if it is gonna make you feel better at the time, cry. Who cares who's around. But whatever you do don't let it all build up and put yourself in the wrong positions. I found myself doing that and I'm really sorry. I did stuff that might have hurt my friends and I'm sorry so learn from me and SPEAK!!

Ok I know everyone does it... but try and keep it to a minimum... Judging is so overated.... yea I do it to but gosh i didn't realize how ridiculous it is. Yea someone might not be as pretty/hott as you or they might not be as smart or skinny as you but get to know them first please. And another thing, don't lie. Lying is SOOOO stupid and you get yourself in trouble if you do it. Expecially don't lie to your BEST friend about something little. If you did something, own up to it don't pussy foot around it. It will come up sooner or later and the sooner, the better. Anyways back to the judging. Aight I have a really good awesome friend who always acts himself and people tell him that they don't like him because he supposedly doesn't well NEWS FALASH!! He is THE coolest kid you will ever meet. He is very outgoing and funny and if you chicks don't like him for it then its your loss. Don't judge someone before you even hang out with them. And even if you hang out with them once don't judge them untill you really get to know them okay? Okay glad we cleared that up....

LuVs*

Friends are one of the most important things in life. Find them, cherish them, help them, and DON'T use them. Don't lie to them, don't forget them and always be there for them. I am always here if anyone ever needs to talk. There are your social friends and your best friends. I may have quite a few social ones but there are only a couple best friends. Best friends are the ones you know absolutely KNOW you can trust. You have girl best friends and guy best friends. And I am proud to say that Chelsey and Abby are my best friends as girls (followed by sarah) and my guy best friend is pry Andrew cause I KNOW I can tell him anything and I know he will help me if I need it, and not say anything unless it's meant to be said. I just want to let you all know you each mean alot to me and I luv you very much. Everyone is my friend unless you hurt me or lie to me. So why don't you take time and think about your friends. Then tell them how much you appreciate them!

LuVs*

Hey everyone! Welcome to my blog! How is everyones lives? Mine isn't too bad. I'm not failing anything in school so life is gooood. I'm almost done being grounded. Well, leave me a comment and tell me how you are!

LuVs*

The day we met.

I was tired and wanted to call off my dinner with my friend "S", but since i hate last minute cancellations, i decided to go. I put on a red skirt with a white cardigan, and flats. I applied my 3 minute make-up, and went down to my friend who was waiting for 15 minutes. Yeah i tend to do that a lot. We parked at Lorenzo and I was relieved to see that it wasn't crammed. The guy seated us at our table, and i faced the window. After we ordered, i was looking out the window as my friend went babbling away. I heard a semi-loud "S!!!! Intay ihny!?!". I turned around to see who it was, and realized that it was S's mom's friend, whom i've seen several times. She then looked at me and got the "Ms. Milk!! Shakhbaarich? Shemsawyaa!? Haaa min mita intaw ihny??!". S answered all her questions, since all i was thinking of was my food, coz i was starving. Out of the blue, the woman introduced us to a guy i didn't even know was with her coz he was standing so far away from her! "Hatha weld okhoy, Mr. Tea...ya7laila 3azemny 3ala il 3asha oo imlazzim illa iyee ihny". We politely smiled as he muttered " ahlain, hala wala". I was thinking " ya7laila im6alli3 3amita...u dont see that a lot nowadays".
A few minutes of chit chat and they left to sit at their table. "Waaaaay yshawwig!!" thats exactly what i told S and she still teases me about it! The guy looked HOT! Imdashdish oo imghatter, asmarany, very kind eyes, perfect nose with the cutest little mole on the side, pearly white smile. The whole package! We had our dinner and got up to leave. We passed next to their table on our way out, and being Kuwaitis that we are, we had to stop and have another chit chat session. I have no idea why this happens! Anyways, 10 minutes later we say good-bye, and Mr. Tea smiled and nodded. Adorable! I just love these little gestures!

The day i knew.

A few days later, my mom calls me into her room. "Mama 7abeebty tara 3indy lich khabar 7ilo", and after some 7anna she continued, " Mama tara ilyom dagatly om S oo gaylatly ena rfeejat'ha taby takh6ebich 7ag weld okhooha". It took me a few seconds to understand the riddle, and then i knew exactly who she's talking about...Mr. Tea! I told her, " weeeh ya7laailaa tawny shayfetaa!". She gave me a look oo kanat shwayya o btfla3ny coz she thought something was going on between us! I cleared it up as fast as i could, and she told me that S didn't know coz they knew she wouldn't keep her mouth shut. And because he wanted to see me "as i am". As if i would over do it with my make up and clothes..yeah right! My mom told me that 3amita was gonna call her later and work out the details of when they're coming.
I left her room thinking of how my whole life might change....it all depended on the next few days.

The day they came.

I couldn't sleep the night before, and i kept twisting and turning in my bed. I finally napped for a while. I got up, showered, and went down to have my coffee... and the whole house was upside down. Everyone was doing something. I still don't know what the changes were, coz when they came, our house looked exactly the same! The day went by soooo fast and when Mr. Tea's family arrived i still didn't feel "right". I came down wearing a baby pink dress and stilettos. I could feel my heart pounding more and more with each step i took. A million thoughts ran through my head..
"What if his mom didn't like me?"
"What if she thought he should be with another "type"?"
"What if i didn't like his family?"
but the most important thing that was on my mind was
"DON'T FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE!" (as you know, i have a history of falling and tripping)

With a shivering voice and trembling hands, i greeted his mom, his aunts (khalta and 3amita), and his two sisters. My older sister was laughing her buttocks off coz my face tends to look weird when i'm nervous. And so i struggled to look "normal". They chatted and chatted and chatted about random and general things, then interrogating me about my life... and then...ta-daaaa!
They officially asked for my hand, and my mom replied, "eee hathy il sa3a limbarika..etc....!"

The day i talked to him.

After Mr. Tea and the men of his family met my uncles and my brother, and both sides agreed on the marriage, our engagement became official. Everything happened sooo fast...just a week after Lorenzo's meeting. Then the phone calls began, and the meetings too.

I gave his mom my number coz i wanted him to call me, and not vice versa. ya3ny msta7ya :P But she gave me his to save on my mobile. I remember i was in the living room with my mom and my brother when my phone rang, and it was flashing "Mr. Tea"!! I literally jumped from the couch silently screaming! My bro looked at my mom and said "hatha Mr. Tea dag". It took me a while to catch my breath, and sound calm.
"alo"
"alo?"
"alo"
"alo? Ms. Milk?"
"Eee...."
"Shlonich?"
"Il7amdilla"
"Shakhbaarich?"
"Tamam il7amdilla" (notice boroody! i'm soo rude i don't even ask how he's doing!)
"3arafteeny?"
"La'a!"
"Ana Mr. Tea."
"Adry!" (don't ask me what the hell i was thinking coz i mess up everything when im bloody nervous!)
He then gave out one of his unbelievably loud laughs, trying to cover up my embarrasment...whereas i was about to die!! Imagine what kind of impression i was making! fashlaa!!
"Ok 3ayal laish giltay ma 3arafteeny?"
"Madry!!"
Again.....laughter laughter laughter! The problem was that whenever i replied, my voice came out squeeking! So ashkara metwahga!
My speech skills evolved throughout the conversation..Thank God!


Afterwards...

We had many phone calls after that. Actually, we were constantly on the phone! He would come over for lunch with his family, or even alone sometimes. My family loved him, and they still do. He has the ability to talk about anything with each and every one of my family.
We disagreed about so many things, and its still that way today. Our personalities are somewhat different so sometimes it's hard to reach the meeting point where it's good for the both of us. The advantage is that Mr. Tea has a verry kind heart that holds no grudges at all. He forgets the problem sooo fast, and rarely gets mad. It helped a lot during our engagement, some sort of equalizer.
Day after day, i learned something new about Mr. Tea. I would see how he treats his family, the workers in the house and at the office. Even the little "thank yous" at the jam3eya. Going to the friday prayer. I swear people these things show you the real person from the inside! Little things.
I fell in love with him quickly, and couldn't wait to be with him. I admired his kindness, his sense of humor, everything! (for more on Mr. Tea's qualities go back to this! :P) And just like Mr. Tea already said, i always thought i'd marry someone after a love story, and not like this, but i guess there are things in life we have no hand in whatsoever.

I'm glad i didn't cancel my dinner with S that night.

we've all asked ourselves the following question: where does our healthcare system stand in comparison with our neighbors and other industrialized nations?

for those of you who may not be aware, the 2000 issue of the WHO World Health Report tackled that very question. it compared the different systems and ranked 191 nations. the investigators used five indicators: overall level of population health; health inequalities (or disparities) within the population; overall level of health system responsiveness (a combination of patient satisfaction and how well the system acts); distribution of responsiveness within the population (how well people of varying economic status find that they are served by the health system); and the distribution of the health system's financial burden within the population (who pays the costs).

again, keep in mind that this was undertaken in the mid-90s.

the good news is that kuwait ranked 45th. not bad you would think, right? however, when compared to the other gcc members, we came last. oman, being one of the poorest neighboring nation, ranked 8th worldwide! i would be curious to know how far down the list we stand today. unfortunately, i suspect that the divide between our neighbors and us has widened knowing that many systems have dramatically improved in the recent years.

World Health Report 2000 (ar)

World Health Report 2000 (en)

the report concluded that "the main failings of many health systems are:

- many health ministries focus on the public sector and often disregard the frequently much larger private sector health care.

- in many countries, some if not most physicians work simultaneously for the public sector and in private practice. this means the public sector ends up subsidizing unofficial private practice.

- many governments fail to prevent a "black market" in health, where widespread corruption, bribery, "moonlighting" and other illegal practices flourish. The black markets, which themselves are caused by malfunctioning health systems, and low income of health workers, further undermine those systems.

- many health ministries fail to enforce regulations that they themselves have created or are supposed to implement in the public interest."

you wonder why such a small, wealthy and potentially controllable nation has to lag behind. we have a great tool for accounting for the population, i.e. the national id number. it provides us with an excellent means to quantify and register patients in our healthcare system. the implications are grand and include simplifying the way we input data into computerized databases and, ultimately, providing us with a single method of identifying patients at registration. imagine incorporating a microchip into the cards allowing them to be read at strategic locations within our healthcare system (e.g. emergency depts, labs, clinics, etc.). in addition to demographic data, basic medical information such as drug allergies, current medications and past medical history could be stored. all this may sound like science fiction but such projects are being rolled out as we speak.

let's ask ourselves another basic question: what does it take to build a strong healthcare system?

a couple of obvious things come to mind:

1. univeral and equal access to care. we have the first but we need to work on the second. regardless of who you are or what socioeconomic background you are from, you'll have access to public healthcare in kuwait. now the subtleties lie in the quality of care you get. public institutions carry most of the workload in kuwait. as a whole, the staff is qualified but the lack of quality assurance measures renders the task of pinpointing flaws in the system difficult. this makes the quality of care provided too dependent on the individual physician caring for the patient. from my limited experience as well as feedback from practitioners, this quality of care seems also affected by the ethnicity of the patient. i had to say it but there are, at times, obvious disparities.

2. efficient primary care system. we hear it again and again: people would rather go to hospitals "where the good doctors are" instead of spending too much time at the clinics. this is largely due to poor patient education and to a lack of proper follow up by one single provider. in most countries, any given patient will have or be assigned to a primary care provider (GP, family physician or internist). the role of this physician is to manage the patient's chronic conditions, schedule regular follow up visits and refer the patient to a specialist or an emergency department only when indicated. we all know that this allows for a sound continuity of care and decongestion of tertiary care facilities. this is a major and complex problem in kuwait. despite the hard work of our clinics, the population lacks affiliation to one specific physician. poor patient education leads to patients seeking help from clinics to obtain referrals to tertiary care facilities for definitive management of what are often times chronic or non-emergent conditions. on the other hand, most clinics are not given the means to fully manage or diagnose those conditions. i have heard of examples such as the inability to obtain thyroid function tests or certain high-yield but low cost imaging studies.

3. true tertiary care facilities. our six public general hospitals need full services to manage the complex cases referred to them. al-sabah differs in the availability of multiple specialized centers in its proximity. take the simple but dramatic case of an intracranial bleed. a patient presents to one of the general hospitals either with a traumatic brain injury following a motor vehicle crash or with symptoms of a stroke after a simple fall at home and is diagnosed with an intracranial hemorrhage. the definitive management in many cases is emergent decompression. who, in any of these facilities, is skilled to perform this? no one. an on call neurosurgeon covering the entire country must be called. i have personally witnessed a number of patients die in our icus from inappropriate management of such injuries. specialized services must be available around the clock to deal with unexpected, time-sensitive events. another troublesome finding is the lack of inhouse radiologists. needless to say, it is unacceptable to have to call the radiologist at home to come perform critical studies on our patients. in our major facilities we must have access to cardiology, neurology, neurosurgery, vascular and orthopedic surgery, ent, plastic surgery, ob/gyn, psychiatry, infectious diseases, nephrology among others.

4. emergency services. things are quite obvious. the structure of our emergency services needs rethinking. starting from the field, patients need to have access to ems where ever they are in the country and expect a rapid response time. the ems access number 777 needs to be taken seriously. again, public education is key. we also have the responsibility to respond to those calls promptly and organize an expedited "scoop and run" mission to whoever calls. we need to triage cases and provide simple instructions to laypeople over the phone. dispatch personnel need specific training in receiving and managing calls. they must understand the urgency of dispatching units to the field. emergencies by definition are time-sensitive. we all know that a myocardial infarction, a multiple trauma victim or a stroke patient need to be transported rapidly as time impedes on their chances of recovery. also, we need trained ems personnel who can provide life-saving measures en route. communication is key. for all of you who have rotated through an emergency dept, you know that ems units communicate with the hospitals giving them a "heads up" of what to expect and, at times, requesting permission to adminiter meds or perform procedures. in kuwait, there is no such communication. we get surprised each time ems shows up. therefore, we remain unprepared and delay the care of these critical patients. none of the tertiary care facilities carry the designation of "trauma center". this entails the existence of a trauma team that participates in the care of the trauma patient in the er and coordinates subsequent management thereafter. those have been shown to reduce time to treatment and improve outcome. in addition to lacking trained emergency physicians, we lack toxicologists, pediatric emergency physicians, ems experts. also, hospital administrators and health ministry officials must acknowledge the rights of these experts. we needs to have admitting privileges, access to diagnostic imaging, secure the safety of our patients with security personnel. let me finish off with an example: my current training institution is comparable in size to mubarak al-kabeer with roughly 500 beds. however our yearly emergency dept census is estimated at 55'000 patients compared to over 300'000 in mubarak! we currently have 32 attendings (board certified emergency physicians) on staff compared to one consultant, a couple of senior registrars in mubarak. do the math, does it make any sense? how can we ever provide an acceptable quality of care when such outrageous numbers of non-emergent and non-urgent visits dilute the true emergencies?

5. public health expertise. prevention is a huge deficiency in the system. we do reasonably well with tertiary prevention through the access to medications, surgery and, to some degree, rehabilitation but fair poorly with primary and secondary prevention. our public health environment is growing but we still need physicians and non-physicians with epidemiology, environmental health, biostatistics, nutrition and health policy training to tackle all aspects of public health. public campaigns lack. a better utilization of the media is needed to get through to our people. efforts at the local and national levels are needed with the utilization of clinics as initiating foci and widespread and persistent televised campaigns. we need to promote bench-to-bedside research in all the major areas of medicine to help create a self-sustainable healthcare environment. also, by pinpointing the deficient specialties, we need to define the most cost-effective means of promoting them.

6. healthcare information systems. kuwait has a huge potential in that respect. i am aware that an "e-government" project is underway but here are a few thoughts. imagine the day all the public institutions will be part of a huge interconnected network whereby patient records could be accessed from any workstation. patients who have records at different hospitals (way too common) would have them consolidated throughout the system into a single file. physicians would be able to update them, enter orders and input visit summaries (for clinics) and discharge summaries (inpatients) and well as er visit notes. laboratory data could be trended and old imaging studies could be compared. we all use these systems in our respective training institutions, at least in the north american continent. why couldn't we establish this in such a small and controllable national system?

7. private sector. to promote change you not only need trained administrators and healthcare professionals but you also need competition. the private sector provides our patients with different options. it could be for a second opinion, for certain specialized services not provided by the public sector or just for a comfortable room. however, to this day, the private sector cannot compete with the public sector. hospitals lack services needed in an acute care facility such as icus, cardiology, fully equiped emergency depts, etc. the day a private institution will provide a full package, things are bound to change. also, these institutions remain excluded from the educational environment because they are financially-driven entities, because they lack qualified instructors but also because the government is not considering their potentially important involvement. this could change with new regulations and recruitment of qualified personnel.

8. health insurance. cost is important despite what many of us think. our nation is indeed wealthy. however, by thinking cost-effectiveness, we will ultimately improve the quality of care, reduce unnecessary expenditures (such as unnecessary admissions or poorly thought refurbishing schemes), and redirect cash flow towards deficient areas of the system. introducing a national health insurance scheme would allow the government to reduce its financial burden to focus on those areas which require more attention. it can also generate income for hospital systems and help individual facilities restructure its services and update its armamentarium of diagnostic and therapeutic tools. to avoid the mistakes of certain nations, every resident should have coverage regardless of their employment status or origin.

9. training. a fundamental aspect of a healthcare system is the medical education and post-graduate training. we fair well in that respect. our medical school is a strong one and our graduate medical education is flourishing. however, we all know that certain specialties will be deficient for years to come. our neighbors are also in this situation. what are they doing about it? they try to promote those specialties to their medical students and provide fairly easy access to scholarships. in the interim, to fill the gaps, they recruit u.s., u.k. or canadian-trained specialists. there are numerous job offers out there for hospitals in the uae, ksa, qatar and bahrain. these offers include a very attractive package with high, tax-free salaries, housing and transportation expense coverage. this may seem like an unreasonably high price to pay but by thinking of the longterm benefits that such individuals bring to the system, such concerns should quickly dissipate. our neighbors have built efficient systems, trained locals and ultimately reduced healthcare costs because of such recruitments. until we have enough kuwaitis staffing every single service in every single hospital and clinic in kuwait, we should seriously consider this option and hold off recruiting poorly qualified personnel at low costs just to fill the gaps without forward thinking.

lots of food for thought. i apologize to the lengthy post but i guess that it's my way of archiving ideas and thoughts.

in the next post, i hope to expose certain simple ideas that can help each of us bring something back to kuwait.

again, i appreciate your time and participation and i look forward to reading your comments.

take care.

Awal shay eb Lorenzo kent wayed dageeg kent ala7eth kel shay etsaweeh eshloon ga3dat'ha eshlon 6areegat sewalefha eshloon takel ya3nee ma6a7at 3ainee 3anha o ma3a tarkeezeee feeha beda eyoozlee shakelha o 6areegat'ha bel akel cute hahaha 6ab3an ma takel tel3ab bel akel bs wehya etsoolef wen kalat etshaweg wehya takel o lail7een agoolaha hahha el shaghla el aham elee shadatnee laha thegat'ha eb nafs'ha weshloon makhtha ra7t'ha ma3a ele ma3aha ya3nee mo emjabla elee ga3deen emrakza bs belee ma3aha o hatha men aham el shaghlat elee 7abait'ha feeha o shakelha madree 7asait enha 3alaleeya ya3nee mo men el noo3 elee etjabel el manthara alf sa3a gabel la te6la3 aslan ma te7taj :) fa hathee el shaghlat elee ejthebatnee laha we7na eb lorenzo radait el bait ma fakart wayed sara7a gelt bs abeeha dagait 3ala 3amiti o akadt 3alaiha o ba3dain laman gelt malekat jamal ma agsed bs bel shakel la eb6aregat'ha bel 7achee eb 6areegat akelha eeeeeeeh o gamazaaat'haaa hahahh ......ba3ad ma sarat el salfa rasmeee awal alo baina kan 3ajeeb ghareeb hahahah manee metkalem ehya enshallah etgolookom kan almost kela nejra o mako shay netefeg 3alaih kan the7ek chena met3amdeen en3aned ba3ad hahhahahaa o lail7een e7sa 3ala hal salfa so awal yemken 20 mins men el mokalama kanat teste7ee o mo makhtha ra7at'ha bs laman shafatnee elsanee falet o makheth ra7tee wa te6anaz 3alaiha la raaaaa7 el 7ayaaaaaaa hahhahah kan the7ek awal cham yoom kan wanasa ra7ah hmm she3oor 3ajeeb o 3araft'ha akthar o 7abait'ha akthar eb hal fatra kena so close kent 7eta wana bel 7amam actually lel7een asaweeha adesh 3alaiha (honey wain 7a6eeetay el shaghla leflaneeya elee sharainaha ams ) hahha .....
shenoo solafna hmmm wallah ma athker Ms.milk thakerat'ha wayed a7san menee so eb sewalef adg men hathee ask her !